As we launch into peak yachting season, many will be boarding a superyacht for the first time in the coming months. BOAT shares some etiquette tips to ensure your host’s welcome stays warm. Make sure to listen to our BOAT Briefing podcast episode, where BOAT scrutinises what makes the perfect – and most genteel – guest.
1. Remove sunglasses for introductions
First things first: unless you’re truly an A-list celebrity, it’s best to remove your sunnies when meeting someone for the first time, indoors or out. “You can put them back on if outside, but eye contact is the window to good communication,” says Carla Ballerio, creative director and tableware specialist at interior design studio Sabrina Monte-Carlo. Removing your hat or cap is also often appreciated – and, when done the right way, doffing your cap can feel surprisingly chivalrous and elevating.
2. Be on time
Serial superyacht owner Lord Irvine Laidlaw says: “If the heli is ready to leave from the back deck at a prearranged time and the other passengers are already on board – and you’re late without good reason – it might be a frosty flight.” Lord Laidlaw pilots his own Eurocopter H150 from the aft deck of his 68-metre Feadship Lady Christine. “That said, a good host refrains from tapping his watch and seeks always to restore the mood to one of high spirits.”
3. Beware bringing gifts
A gift given by a guest to a host may be well received, but probably not if it takes up vital space on board. “We always say, ‘Just bring yourself in a good mood,’” says Lord Laidlaw. To show appreciation, you can always send something after the trip – and during your stay you may learn of an item the owner wants but doesn’t have.
Or you can sing for your supper. Mike Fisher, owner of the elegant 36-metre Moonen Brigadoon, says: “We have a full dressing-up box aboard and encourage everyone to get into role. I’ve had famous performers who have sung and played the piano. These can be some of the best times on the boat.”
4. Prepare what you wear
Although it’s important to pack light, there may be a range of activities you’ll need to pack for – everything from rugged outdoor pursuits to Gatsby-themed black-tie evenings. “The most worldly of guests can feel overwhelmed and need some coaching,” says Jimmy Carroll, co-founder of Pelorus. It’s important to consider the basics, too, so you look like the yacht truly is your natural habitat.
Colours need to reflect location, season and trends. Fit is as important for casual clothes as it is for smart dress. Just as a well-fitted suit can make a man look taller, so well-cut shorts and tops can make him appear leaner and more athletic – like he belongs on the water. “It may be worth considering using a stylist,” adds Carroll. “We’ve worked with personal shoppers at Mr Porter and, for women, Net-a-Porter. Preparation is everything.”
5. Know your labels, accessories and their ensemble
Knowing brands and accessories lets you show you’re au fait with this superyacht world, be it the love for Valentino shoes or Loro Piana loafers in Cannes (bonus points for fine merino wool navy trainer socks worn underneath), or the soft spot for Brunello Cucinelli among Silicon Valley billionaires. Such brands will win approving nods, but you must still know how to piece it all together.
“Smart casual elegance is the key for superyacht dressing,” says Luca Faloni, founder and creative director of the namesake Italian clothing brand. “Linen, linen-jersey and silk-cottons are great for a comfortable yet elevated daytime look, while for cooler evenings, a lightweight silk-cashmere knit combined with elegant linen trousers make for a perfect combination.”
6. No unwelcome surprises on arrival please
We’re all encouraged to live in the moment, but please, guests, don’t arrive with unexpected plus-ones – whether people or pets. Boats have legal maximum capacities, both when at the marina and under sail. It is the captain’s responsibility to ensure these maximums are observed, and it doesn’t get more awkward than staff demanding a guest disembarks. On the plus side, all of this is what keeps superyacht gatherings so glamorous and exclusive. If you’re one of the chosen few, celebrate – you’ve arrived!
7.Gentlemen, please consider a pedicure
In the HBO television show Succession, media scion Kendall Roy tells his cousin Greg, while boarding Lürssen Solandge (used for the shoot): “Sails out, nails out, bro.” Don’t be like newbie cousin Greg, who asks: “What if your toenails are not that aesthetically pleasing?” Unsightly toes do not a good vibe make, nor do peculiar-looking socks.
8. Don’t grumble about your cabin
On Christina O, Aristotle Onassis named his cabins after Greek islands; on The Highlander, Malcolm Forbes used colours. Yacht designers may seek to pre-empt envy when arranging cabins, but a master suite is so-called for good reason. Principals should pre-assign cabins, and guests shouldn’t complain about their allotted digs.
Rather, they should find the fun and intrigue in it all, as White House speech-writer and political satirist Christopher Buckley did when venturing up the Amazon with Forbes in 1987: “There are four guest suites in addition to Malcolm’s master suite, with its whirlpool and steam bath and Spanish-galleon rear picture window,” he reported. “I draw Burgundy. Others are Blue, White and Gray. The king of Bulgaria says: “It’s clever. This way no one is offended by being given cabin number four.”
Read More/Christina O: What happened to Aristotle Onassis' 99m superyacht?9. But do share with crew members your other wants or needs, however small
Crew members want your time on board to be as enjoyable as possible, but can end up doing a lot of guesswork over what works best, even with completed questionnaires in hand. Do help crew members get it right for you. “We always want principal charter guests to feel like owners,” says Hong Kong-based Jing-Yi Wee, owner of the beautiful wooden 51-metre Dunia Baru. “Speak up about everything from the pace of how you’d like the meals served to whether a particular activity should go ahead if you’d rather relax on deck instead.”
10. (Don’t) make yourself (too) at home
When is the line crossed in terms of a guest getting too comfortable aboard? You can tell an experienced superyacht guest: they know when to vacate a zone to allow for it to be cleaned – be it the cabins, where beds need to be made and sheets changed, or the breakfast area, where guests may be coming and going all morning while croissant flakes accumulate. They don’t order champagne when it’s not offered, help themselves to food from the chef’s pantry as if it were their own kitchen, nor remove unopened toiletries on departure.
11. Follow the natural rules of eco yachts
Whether you’re on a hybrid yacht or something more conventional, many crews today operate boats with an environmentally-conscious ethos.. Guests should embrace the spirit of these, their ways and rules, such as preferring refillable water bottles to plastic ones, or marine-friendly toiletries to other kinds.
David Roberts, captain of the 39-metre, classically styled Pendennis sailing yacht Vijonara, says it is a question of being aware. “We use proper anchoring techniques to prevent any damage to the seabed ecosystems and wildlife. Once guests understand, they approve. We like it when guests take an active interest.”
12. Know the essential etiquette of lavatories
The key to avoiding awkward problems is communication. Crew members will be tactful if any issue is broached, and indeed will want to be consulted. Lavatories can be sensitive to what’s flushed down them and if anything goes wrong, whether at the marina or under sail, so report the issue to a crew member immediately. Remaining quiet out of embarrassment can not only lead to severe hardships for the crew but also potentially damage the boat.
Read More/Vijonara: On Board the Pendennis-Built Truly Classic 128 Sailing Yacht13. Don’t bring excess baggage
LVMH wardrobe trunks have their deserved place in fashion iconography, less so in the confines of superyacht cabins. Soft and light luggage is the way to go here – and the same applies to when you’re on a private jet. If an owner offers to fly you somewhere but then can’t because of the size of your baggage volume, it will be doubly disappointing to be the person left on the tarmac.
14. If service comes unstuck, don’t make it awkward for anyone
This story shows the difference that putting people at ease can make. It involves a mishap on the aft deck of the late Queen Elizabeth’s beloved yacht Britannia. “We were sailing from New Zealand in 1986,” says William French, then a royal steward. “The Queen was seated, taking afternoon tea, and I was offering her milk and sugar from a silver tray. To this day, I don’t know whether it was the yacht’s movement or some micro-adjustment I made as I brought the tray close to her.
"Some silver tongs clattered from the sugar bowl on to the tray’s surface. With the tongs came a couple of cubes of white sugar, which teetered on the edge of the tray then fell like tumbling dice. Time slowed, and the white cubes seemed to detonate as they hit the hard, dark teak. I could feel the eyes of the first lieutenant boring into the back of my neck.”
“‘It’s a good job the corgis are not here,’ said the Queen,” recalls French (in fact the late Queen’s dogs never boarded Britannia). “The Duke of Edinburgh laughed. Even the first lieutenant involuntarily smiled. And I thought, here’s Her Majesty the Queen putting meat ease.”
15. As a guest, join in with activities; as a host, don’t pressure anybody
Having invested a good amount of money on a week or so on board a superyacht, some charterers will cram every last hour with death-defying water-slide antics, ambitious hikes ashore or fiendishly clever treasure hunts aboard. Not every guest will jump at the chance to join in.
One way to resolve this mismatch of expectations is to involve a company with experience tailoring activities to different guest types. “We see a lot of multigenerational groups where there are parents, kids and grandparents,” says Rob McCallum, founder of EYOS, which has provided 1,500 expeditions to superyachts.
“We cater to the difference in capability levels by having multiple guides effectively running different activities simultaneously, whether that be scuba diving or hiking or spotting dugongs. This approach might allow the older players to sneak in a siesta, or a board meeting, in the afternoon.”
A guest can always graciously decline to take part, too. A smile invariably helps here. The very act of smiling can enliven your mood, perhaps even prompting you to join in after all, and you’ll look better in any photos or videos.
16. Strive to leave no trace on deck
Ballerio advises against coloured suntan oils, which, like shoes, can easily mark teak and other materials. Please forgo a spray tan, Ballerio pleads: “I’ve seen beautiful white towels turn orange.”
After swimming in saltwater, shower off before draping yourself on the fine fabrics. If smoking is permitted on deck, thoughtful guests will enjoy their cigarettes or cigars at the stern, or at least downwind from others. Aspire to be as unobtrusive as John Robie, the soft-footed Côte d’Azur cat burglar played by Cary Grant, opposite the majestic Grace Kelly, in 1955’s To Catch a Thief. Just leave the jewellery in situ.
17. Keep the chef sweet
Any charter guests will receive a food questionnaire well in advance, and should declare dietary requirements long before boarding. It’s exceedingly bad form to change dietary needs on the day of arrival – so too for guests of an owner. Mike Fisher says: “If you announce on arrival, say, that you’re vegan, you’re probably requiring the chef to prepare separate meals, but also conceivably provision the boat differently. Boats may be large but galleys rarely are.”
An often-heard question is how to interact with chefs in increasingly popular open-galley kitchens. If the chef is concentrating intensely on dropping jus around the rim of your plate, it may not be the best time to ask what dessert is. Yet these chefs are up front for good reason: they enjoy guest interactions.
Be led by the principal, the chef’s personality and the occasion, says Nina Wilson, rotational chef on Loon, the popular 68-metre charter yacht. “If there’s something dangerous going on, for example involving a blow torch, a respectful silence is in order.”
Conversely, well-chosen compliments to the chef always go down well. What defines well-chosen? “Specific, short of clever,” replies Wilson. “Saying the food is great is appreciated; saying you like the Jerusalem artichoke puree is perfect, especially if I’m giving it to you for the first time. You don’t need to identify every last ingredient.” Also “please try to be there at the prearranged time, so the food is prepared to the highest possible standard.”
18. No one enjoys a phubbing
William Hanson, an etiquette expert with two million followers on TikTok and three million on Instagram, gives a wonderful example of how the late Queen used her own keen wit to defuse the modern phenomenon of “phubbing” – when someone ignores you in favour of looking at their phone. “[Prime Minister Tony] Blair was in power; various ministers had an audience with her, at which a minister’s mobile phone managed to ring,” recalls Hanson. “It was when mobiles were less common, hence all the more jarring. ‘Do answer it, dear,’ she said. ‘It might be somebody important.’”
19. Share on social – with caution
Josh Golder, owner of King Benji – the 47-metre Dunya Yachts explorer – says: “At 42, I’m old enough to value my privacy, but young enough to understand that some guests may like to brag on social media. If someone wants to come on and change outfits 10 times to drip photos on to their social media over time, they can do that, but guests need to respect an owner’s or a captain’s rules, be it no real-time posting of locations – for safety reasons – or no photos of the owner or personal items. Yachts can attract a lot of attention and make some people crazy.”
20. Meal table decorum: a taster
This subject could be a guide in itself. Carla Ballerio advises against eating lunch in your swimwear: “Cover up when seated at the table.” You should, of course, always be clean and kempt, but also composed, she feels. There is the question of handling silverware and other implements, but also the food itself. If slices of lemon happen to arrive without protective muslin covers, don’t give them a hearty squeeze, which risks jetting citric acid three place settings’ distance.
As long as your hands are clean, it is acceptable to use them for eating pizza and hamburgers, but if the food is sloppy, silverware remains ideal. Finally, strive not to scrunch your napkin up into an unsightly ball. “For those creating and presenting beautiful tablescapes, this is so sad,” says Ballerio.
21. Respect the crew
An officer who served aboard various high-profile yachts, including Sir Donald Gosling’s Leander G, says: “It can be a minefield if principals like to become matey, for example by inviting crew to stay up late and socialising with them and their guests.” Separate but related, crew members must feel their areas of the boat are private, safe and secure. Never venture into these areas uninvited, even if only motivated by curiosity.
22. Sharpen up your tip game
Tipping can cause great confusion. Tim Morley of Monaco-based boutique brokers Morley Yachts recommends the following course of action. “On the last morning of a charter, the principal should arrange a time to sit down with the captain in private for 20 minutes ‘to go over the accounts.’ This is the time to inform the captain of the crew tip. Resist the temptation to direct it to individual crew members, which can cause problems among crew and with the captain, too; the tip should go to everyone.”
Morley suggests entering the meeting with a clear tip amount in mind, and not relating it to the Advance Provisioning Allowance (APA). He points to the MYBA guidance rate of five per cent to 15 per cent of the charter fee. “Europeans tend to opt for around 10 per cent if they are very happy, while Americans are accustomed to tipping more: 20 per cent is not unusual. Write the tip at the bottom of the printed accounts summary and sign next to it.
“Do say a verbal ‘thank you’ to the captain, too – assuming all went well.” Equally, “Don’t feel bad about expressing your dissatisfaction with something or someone. It allows things to be put right promptly.”
23. Remember, the captain is in charge
This should go without saying, certainly regarding matters of safety, but please don’t argue with the captain. The weather can often be a source of disagreement. “I remember a time in Porto Cervo when a principal charterer was adamant that we should venture out on the water based on a cursory look at the skies,” says the officer (from point 21).
“What the charterer wasn’t aware of were the detailed weather forecasts telling the captain a full-blown mistral with storm-force winds was arriving soon. The charterer became really quite agitated, but the captain’s word must be final.”
24. Know when to make your exit
On the last day, have your light soft bags ready to go by departure time. Loitering beyond this point, or asking to stay longer, can be heavily frowned upon. The crew needs to overhaul the entire boat – changing sheets, reprovisioning the galley, refuelling and even repositioning to another location altogether.
If a guest really can’t bear to bring the magic to an end, they may invite their hosts for a final lunch ashore. The host might just say, “Why not stay longer on board?” – in which case the magic may indeed continue.
First published in the March 2025 issue of BOAT International. Get this magazine sent straight to your door, or subscribe and never miss an issue. For more expert superyacht tips and essential yachting advice, explore our latest yacht advice guides.
Read More/What’s the difference between a boat, yacht and superyacht?